In 2019 I posted an angry rant on Facebook about parking regulations in downtown Noblesville. Nearly 800 people reacted to the post, nearly 700 commented on it, and over 400 shared it. My complaint garnered staggering coverage on social media, more than anything else I’ve ever posted.
The infamous Facebook post
A few days later, Bob DuBois, Director of the local Chamber of Commerce asked if I’d stop at his office for a conversation. I admire Bob–admire that he’s steered our conservative community’s leading business organization toward endorsing diversity and equal rights at a time when certain folk in our country find ways to make that a bad thing. So I happily went.
In the meeting, Bob noted I’ve been an outspoken supporter of downtown, its businesses and its architecture. “Look at the reaction to your Facebook post. You’re obviously a local influencer. Now, do you think your post made people want to come downtown or avoid downtown?”
The answer was obvious. What I’d posted hurt the business people and property owners I’ve tried to help for over 30 years. I was Noblesville’s first Main Street president, sat on early Streetscape and Design committees–encouraging building restoration and installation of better sidewalks, lighting, and benches. I’d created and oversaw the first façade grant program for the square, and as a Realtor had worked in every way I could think of to put buildings in the possession of owners and tenants who respected the architecture and wanted a more vibrant downtown. Yet, along the way I’d developed some bad habits that at times made me an troublesome ally.
I committed then to make my applause public and take my complaints privately to the mayor or city council members. And two years later, I had occasion to thank Bob personally. Here’s the letter I wrote him.
August 20, 2021
Bob,
I was particularly touched by the discussion about civility at the Business Summit this morning. It even got me a little emotional. As I scanned the room in that moment, my eyes fell on you and I was reminded that I owe you a debt of gratitude, one not entirely disconnected from today’s discussion.
Two years ago, after I ranted on social media about parking in downtown Noblesville, you asked me to stop at your office for a conversation about it. What you said to me that morning was a turning point in my awareness about the tone of my public comments when I’m passionate about an issue.
In a majority of my years here–some 6 mayoral terms to be precise, Noblesville’s mayors were men who made it clear they were not listening to folks like me, and the most recent mayor went so far as to blackball folks like me from city and community boards of directors, even appearing at board meetings to warn members not to elect me or others to positions of leadership. I adapted by protesting through public writing, remonstrating at public hearings, and even trolling city leaders on social media.
Our conversation at your office forced me to reevaluate these habits. I couldn’t have any positive impact on those two previous mayors, but I can control myself and how I present my ideas. How I act is nobody else’s fault or responsibility. It’s mine alone.
 |
| The parking ticket |
Fair enough. I earned that.
I shrugged and smiled and started to walk away, but startled myself a little by coming back and gripping Chris’s hand. I replied, “I won’t do that to you. I’ll call you on the phone because I know you’re listening.”
That doesn’t mean we’ll agree, but it does mean we have to be civil, and even more importantly, I’d rather solve problems than just win arguments and stroke my own community-activist-ego.
Whether you know it or not, you helped bring me to that moment. You helped me understand that my rant on Facebook not only wasn’t helpful, it was counterproductive. It probably made some people apprehensive about coming downtown, even though I truly want downtown to thrive, and made others uncertain about engaging with me on issues I care about.
Thank you, Bob. You are welcome to call me on my bullshit anytime.
